I'll tell you first where we are currently and can then let you know what has already happened. We arrived this morning (1 Feb) in Ulaan Baator, Mongolia on the train from Irkutsk. The journey took about 35 hours. The train was stopped at Russian/Monglian border control and customs for a total of 9 hours 45 mins. Towards the end we were disappointed to move on as we thought we were in sight of beating the record of 11 hours. During all this time the toilets were locked as normally it just flows onto the tracks and they don't allow this at stations. This was to prove embarassing for Dec when they carried out the body cavity search. They searched our compartment twice and unbelieveably none of us had stowed away any midget spies in our rucksacks.

We were sharing the carriage with a 19 year old Swiss boy scout and his godfather. They were about as much craic as a dose of diarrohea and myself and Dec were reduced to speaking about them in Irish to lighten the mood. They were disgusted at myself and Dec's relative lack of supplies for the trip. If you had told me six months ago that I would have thanked someone for giving me two empty pot noodle containers (as cups) and two bags of tea I would have laughed. Last night, I was desperate for water and the two lads ignored my hints despite the lake of water they had brought with them. In the end I was reduced to filling the pot noodle containers with boiling water and leaving them in the passageway between the carriages (the only space that is not heated on the train). To be fair, the boiling water was ice cold in about 10 minutes. When we got off the train we saw a Mongolian guy holding the signs with the names of the Swiss lads on them. We were very tempted to either pretend to be the lads and see where he took us or else to tell him that the lads had gotten off the train and were probably outside waiting. In the end we did nothing, but next time.

I think the lads were a bit pissed off as they had a first class two bed compartment from Moscow and expected to be on their own this time as well. I am not sure what the point of taking the Trans-Siberian is if you don't want to share with people. Needless to say, I will not be bringing a Toblerone back to anyone.

On a related point, we are in contact with Sergei, a 25 year old Russian lad who shared with us on the 4 day journey from Moscow to Irkutsk. Sergei was sound out and the craic we had was one of the highlights to the trip so far. The big man has to make a 7 day train trip from home to College - think about that the next time you complain about having to travel any distance at all in Ireland - I know I will. Sergei told us he was a body-builder and Dec informed Sergei that he had indeed noticed that Sergei worked out. I hadn't.

On the train we made friends with the provodnik, the guy who looks after our specific carriage. He brought us into his compartment for cocoa and chocolate and gave me a cool official Trans-Siberian railway workers pin which I will treasure as my memento of the journey.

Some of you may also be interested to know that he gave me a shot of some kind of cocktail and in the spirit of Irish-Russian relations I drank the shot. I wish I could tell you what happened next but it is all a blur. I fear I was more animal than man after the 33 millitres of alcohol. Dec had to restrain me and I think I may have told him what I really thought of him. I tried to get up to the main engine as I noticed that rats had taken over driving the train. Apparently I was mistaken. I don't think that I will drink again - although I do have to try the fermented horse's milk in Mongolia.

The train to Mongolia left from Irkutsk, which is not a great place. It was absolutely freezing, about minus 24 degrees. The city has a population of 600,000 but I think they counted a few people twice. It was quieter than Bantry (pop. 3,500) and there was nothing to see there at all. The Hotel we stayed in was rubbish and smelt. It was therefore a perfect location for myself and Dec to cook our first meal as part of our tightend budget. We made spaghetti bolognese using mince from an unknown animal and a can of tomatoes that was best before October 2003 (seriously).

The real reason that we stopped in Irkutsk however was to visit Lake Baikal, which is about 70 km away. We headed there on Sunday morning and it was brill. Some facts - the lake is the deepest in the world and is over 25 million years old (most lakes are about 15,000 years old). If the world ran out of drinking water tomorrow, Baikal has enough to supply every person on the planet for 40 years. The lake was frozen over and so it was amazing to walk along it, looking under the ice which was really clear. In the summers. swimmers who suffer from vertigo are advised to stay away from the lake as it is so clear you can see to a depth of 40 metres below you. The lake when frozen looked like something from the North Pole. As it so big, it looks like a huge bay and not a lake at all. It is about 630 miles long and 50 miles wide. After all that, it was a pity that Dec threw an empty carton of apple juice on it which I had to retrieve. Dec had obviously misheard the old saying "Take nothing but photographs, leave nothing but footprints (and cartons of juice)." Shame.

One issue which has worried me slightly on the trip is that of my snoring. Apparently it sounds like someone is trying to strangle me very loudly and comes from my mouth rather than my nose. This can be an issue when sharing train compartments and dorms. It is a medical condition and I shouldn't be persecuted. At the moment, I have no choice but to lie down on my front with my head kind of sideways into the pillow - try this as your natural resting position. I imagine Satan is making Hitler adopt a similar sleeping position in hell.

Prior to getting on the train in Moscow, we visited the Kremlin. It is possible to visit Lenin before one every day (ex. Mondays) and so we went on Tuesday early. We arrived and were disgusted to be told that it was closed off for the day. I was alot more pissed off than Dec and branded us a disgrace for not getting to see Lenin for four days of being in Moscow. Dec brought me for an ice-cream to get me out of my sulk. As we were leaving, something told me to go back to Red Square. I am not sure if it was the spirit of Lenin in his tomb who wanted to see me or something else but we headed over there. Imagine my delight when I spotted that tourists were being let in to see the body. Problem - it was 10 minutes before closing and we had to drop our cameras off at a security place about 8 mins away. It was then that Dec rose to levels I had never thought him capable and offered to hold the cameras while I went in. It was very much like the song "Two Little Boys" by Rolf Harris. I mulled over it for about 1 millisecond but knowing that Dec is more interested in female live bodies than male dead ones I knew that it would be ok. I ran in and saw him and then sprinted around Red Square (I am not sure if foreigners with James Bond good-looks running around that Square is a good idea) to pass the baton to Dec in the hope he might squeeze in. No luck, it was 1.03pm. I told the security guard that we had come all the way from Bantry but no luck. The result is that I now owe Dec one and am sure to have to stand aside when we both are after the same girl. I am not sure if the waxy looking Lenin was worth it. (I guess my only consolation is that Dec usually fancies mingers).

My next update will focus on the rest of our time in Mongolia and our trip to St Petersburg. Highlights will include:

Liam and Dec visit a Ger and spend two nights with a Mongolian Family - imagine the cultural misunderstandings;

Dec tries to milk a stallion so that we can enjoy fermented mares's milk;

The visit to the St Petersburg Museum of Foetuses in Jars and it's impact on Dec and Liam's views on abortion (also including a restaurant review of the Museum's canteen - they sold Jelly Babies in Jars - the ultimate in bad taste????)

Tonight I begin part 1 of my intensive Thailand Anti-Ladyboy Preparation Course for Dec. Module 1 - How to spot a shaved down Adam's Apple.

Talk you all soon - and email me at Liamo if you have any comments or suggestions, however critical they may be.